Comments on: confused on what to do http://www.meta-opinions.com/2010/02/18/confused-on-what-to-do/ my opinion, ideas and reviews in my daily endeavor! Wed, 28 Dec 2011 08:41:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Nomad http://www.meta-opinions.com/2010/02/18/confused-on-what-to-do/comment-page-1/#comment-860 Nomad Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:01:50 +0000 http://www.meta-opinions.com/?p=863#comment-860 You sound legitimately concerned and the way you handle it must reflect this. Have you ever read Dale Carnegie, he has a lot of great advice about saying things to people without hurting their feelings. But the first step would be to consider how YOU would feel being in his situation and what would sound most appropriate to your ears. It is okay to give the ointment but only if it is done with respect. I mean, you'd know not to give it to him with a crowd around. You would know not to say..I know you are poor and I have more money than you so I got this for you. So I guess you have to ask why is that hurtful. Because in the first case, it is not a public matter. In the second case, it is not a matter of pity but a matter of empathy which is slightly different. Anyway, here's my idea. You can start from the beginning and say you accidentally noticed the sores, ask him if it bothers him much- in fact, ask him a lot of questions and you might be surprised how more relaxed he becomes. Then tell him you have heard of a remedy- radio talk show maybe- and ask him if wants you to see if he can find the name of it. If he says no.. stop and forget it. If he says yeah, if you could.. Then buy the ointment and give it to him and just tell him you were in the pharmacy the other day and it was convenient to pick the stuff up. Wish him well. If he looks embarrassed, just tell him that you would expect him to do the same. No need to humiliate him with pity about his financial situation etc. Some people are funny like that. You sound legitimately concerned and the way you handle it must reflect this. Have you ever read Dale Carnegie, he has a lot of great advice about saying things to people without hurting their feelings. But the first step would be to consider how YOU would feel being in his situation and what would sound most appropriate to your ears.
It is okay to give the ointment but only if it is done with respect. I mean, you’d know not to give it to him with a crowd around. You would know not to say..I know you are poor and I have more money than you so I got this for you. So I guess you have to ask why is that hurtful. Because in the first case, it is not a public matter. In the second case, it is not a matter of pity but a matter of empathy which is slightly different.

Anyway, here’s my idea. You can start from the beginning and say you accidentally noticed the sores, ask him if it bothers him much- in fact, ask him a lot of questions and you might be surprised how more relaxed he becomes.
Then tell him you have heard of a remedy- radio talk show maybe- and ask him if wants you to see if he can find the name of it. If he says no.. stop and forget it. If he says yeah, if you could.. Then buy the ointment and give it to him and just tell him you were in the pharmacy the other day and it was convenient to pick the stuff up. Wish him well. If he looks embarrassed, just tell him that you would expect him to do the same.
No need to humiliate him with pity about his financial situation etc. Some people are funny like that.

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